Can Revenge Keep Me Warm At Night
by diamonddreamz
Summary: Emily's struggles as her feelings for Daniel distracts her form revenge, while Daniel wonders what caused Emily to become cold towards him. Season 3 has been tough on the Daniel/Emily romance, and this is just what I think is going on in their heads. Based on the happenings of Season 3.
1. Chapter 1

**Illusion: **Something that deceives by producing a false impression of reality.

There was once a deer looking for refuge from the scorching sun. It walked along the concrete roads, longing for anything: shelter, or even better, a drink of water. As it looked ahead, the deer was overjoyed to see a puddle of water on the concrete. It's four legs moved at the speed of light to reach that little puddle, the oasis it had been waiting for. When it reached the location, however, there was no puddle. Disappointed, the deer walked away. This phenomenon is called a mirage, an _illusion_. There are illusions everywhere we look, and as people, it is our responsibility to be able to differentiate between reality and delusions.

Daniel POV

Sunlight. That is the first thing I see when I open my tired eyes. Last night was..interesting, to say the least, and needless to say, I did not get nearly enough sleep. The past few weeks had been rough: with my father's false Huntington's diagnosis, Patrick's sudden reappearance, Voulez and the _coldness_ that I had been getting from Emily recently. Just when things were starting to go back to normal, Sarah is introduced into my life. I let out a sigh as I reach over to the other side of the bed, only to find that it is empty. Emily probably went out for a swim, like she usually does in the morning. I reluctantly get on my feet and walk to the shower. The shower is where I do my best thinking.

As the warm water trails down my body, I can't help but feel relaxed. My mind begins to wander to Sarah. There is no denying that Sarah is a great girl. Some of the best memories were with her: the barbeques that did not require dress coats and watching baseball games at her house, to name a few. In fact, I still rooted for the Mets because of her. She's funny, smart, and gorgeous, but she is no Emily. It has been hard to keep Sarah out of my mind, I'll give you that, but it's only because I want to make amends for everything I've done to her. Before I start a new life, a new family with Emily, I want to have a clean slate.

I love my fiancé-I know that from the bottom of my heart. I look over to the large number of shower gels and scrubs that Emily has collected, and I can't help but smile. She's a total hoarder, and I love that about her. I reach for the one that is nearly empty, it smells of lavender and her.

I quickly finish up my shower, and change into a grey suit. I hate the way I feel when I'm wearing a suit, it makes me feel..like a Grayson. Wearing what I want is one of the few luxuries that I cannot afford yet, I have to go to work so I can build a future for Emily and me. Although working at Voulez is better than working at Grayson Global, I don't like the business world..If I had it my way, I'd be a writer.

I can see Emily in the kitchen as I walk down the stairs. It's weird how every time I see her I'm amazed by how beautiful she is. "Good morning sunshine. How was your swim?" I say to her as I hug her tightly. She smiles at me and says "It was nice." Lately, the affection in Emily's eyes has been missing..and I can't understand why. Is it because she thinks I'm becoming too much of a Grayson? I wish she'd understand that I'm only doing this so I can secure a future for us, for our family. Or is it because of Aiden?

"Coffee?" She interrupts my thoughts as she hands me a mug of black coffee, just the way I like it. I thank her and then tell her that I have to head to the office. She hands me my suitcase and we share a kiss goodbye. Somehow this kiss feels _different_ from before. I can't help but feel worried as I walk out of the door.

This has nothing to do with Aiden, right?

Emily POV

I came to the Hamptons for one reason alone, to avenge my father and expose the Graysons for the monsters they really are. I did not come here for love.

Sadly, love is not in the cards for me, and I cannot let myself grow attached to Daniel. Any feelings must be nipped in the bud.

The sound of my ringtone transports me back to reality.

"What is it Nolan?"

"Oh..nothing Ems..Just wondering what's on the revengenda today."

"Maybe we should hit pause on the revenge for awhile.."

"Oh ok, so what's the reason for this? Is it your feelings for Danny boy?"

"Very funny, Nolan. The only feelings I have for him are ones of pure hatred."

The last sentence feels unnatural coming out of my mouth, because I know that it is false. I just hope if I say it enough, it will come true. I cannot let my feelings for Daniel distract me from my revenge. This revenge is bigger than me, than my happiness.

Daniel doesn't love me anyway, he loves the illusion that I've created. He is in love with Emily Thorne, not Amanda Clarke. And let's face it; he would never be able to accept, much less love, the _real_ me.

A solemn thought crosses my mind and I wonder..

"Can revenge keep me warm at night?"


	2. Chapter 2

Emily POV

"Why am I angry?! You have the nerve to ask me why I'm angry?!"

There is so much raw rage blazing and bubbling inside of me right now, I literally feel like I am bursting. My eyes are bloodshot red and I can feel the heat radiating off of them. Air is rushing in and out of my nostrils, flaring with a vengeance. I stare at Daniel angrily and yell at him once more, "you know damn well why I'm angry!"

Daniel and I have gotten into many fights in the duration of our relationship, but unlike those times...it is obvious that Daniel will not let me win. He looks at me in disbelief, fury conquering his chocolate brown eyes.

"Sara? This is about Sara?! When will you get it through your head that there is NOTHING going on between Sara and me?! I am a loyal man Emily, and that's more than you can say about yourself." His usually loving voice is filled with cruelty.

Generally, I am an analytical person and I like to think before I talk. Tonight, however, I am too angry to access the situation. How dare he bring up Jack? That's water under the bridge.

"That's rich Daniel. Bring up Jack. Its ancient history and I have apologized a million times!"

"Oh no, I'm not talking about Jack..I'm talking about Aiden." Underneath all the anger, I can hear hints of hurt in this voice when he says this. The very mention of his name disgusts me, and I get more enraged than before. I'm too angry to feel guilty about Aiden. It's not like I have feelings for him, or plan to runaway to Maldives with him. He is an important part of my revenge, and I need him on my side. How dare he accuse me of cheating? I can feel him staring at me, waiting for an answer and it feels like daggers are being shot at me.

Daniel POV

"What? Aren't you going to say anything? I know you have feelings for that lying stealing coward!"

I'm not sure how to interpret her silence. I cannot believe that she isn't denying this and I cannot believe I fell for this again. I always end up being the fool when it comes to her, first with Jack and now with Aiden. Ever since I mentioned his despicable name she has not even been able to look at me. Her heart is racing; I can hear it pounding from two feet away. She's getting more enraged and that makes me angry. Who is she to be angry? I have done nothing but love her.

"What the hell Emily? Look at me!" I command her.

Her head pops up at my command and her gaze is averted to me. A malicious smile forms on her lips as she says, "Who are you to call him a lying stealing coward, when you are the same?" She laughs spitefully after she says this. Before I was angry, but now I'm furious. I cannot even control my tone of voice and I shout, "The only liar here is you Emily Thorne!"

Emily POV

His voice roars through the kitchen, the walls tremble because of the sound. Adrenaline takes over and I walk closer to him until there is no more than three inches separating us. His face is scarlet with anger and his fists clenched so tight that they are quivering. I point a finger at him and I yell with just as much force as he just did..

"You are nothing but a coward! A disgraceful Grayson! You protect your family at all costs, disregarding what's right to do so. I may be a liar, Daniel Grayson, but I am not a dishonorable coward like you. I won't be a liar forever, but you will always be a coward! That's all you are, that's all you will ever be."

A rapid exchange of words take place, and the next thing I know..

Daniel POV

Our bodies crash into each other. Emily grabs the back of my neck and we kiss hungrily. I put my arms around her and pull her in closer; it feels like we can't be close enough. She takes my shirt off with a vengeance, and I feel taken aback. I've never seen Emily this aggressive. "Kiss me", she commands and I am more than happy to oblige. The warmth of her body feels…amazing. We moved room to room..kitchen, living room, up the stairs, and finally the bedroom. I push her on the bed and she flashes me a sly smile as she says, " come here."


	3. Chapter 3

Emily POV

"Good morning", he whispers into my ear. I've always found that Daniel has the sexiest barely-awake voice. I open my eyes slowly to see him looking at me lovingly and I can't help but smile back at him. He puts his arms around me and holds me tightly. This feels perfect, I think to myself. Sometimes I wish that I could throw this whole revenge away and live a perfect life with Daniel. We could wake up like this every morning, fall asleep together every night, and spend every moment in between together. However, that's not the life that's meant for me.

"Hey Emily? I'm sorry about last night.."

Hmm..what is he apologizing for? The events of last night are but a distant blur to me. Oh right, the fight. Honestly I had every reason to be angry at him. Who wouldn't be angry if their fiancé completely abandons them for his ex? I tell myself to let it go, just so I don't ruin this perfect moment. I look into his eyes and I can definitely see that he loves me. I've never experienced love like this, and sometimes it overwhelms me.

"I'm sorry too Daniel."

He lifts a strand of hair away from my face and kisses my forehead. I wish this moment could last forever, in fact..it really does feel like time is standing still. Speaking of time, I glance at the clock and see that it's already 11 in the afternoon.

"OH GOD! I'm late!" The words come out of my mouth before I could stop them. Damn. Now Daniel will want to know what I'm late for. I cannot possibly tell him that I'm late to meet..ugh..Aiden. I cannot wait until I never have to see Aiden again, but for now I have to put up with him. I will do anything it takes to complete my revenge, even if it means I have to feign love for that terrible man. Confused, Daniel looks at me expecting an explanation about what I'm late for.

"I have an appointment with the wedding planner. It's about my wedding dress. And no, you cannot come because I want my dress to be a surprise."

This is the best answer I can come up with and I hope he buys it.

"Alright then…" He says while reluctantly letting me go.

I grab the first outfit in my closet and rush to the bathroom, brushing my teeth and washing my face quickly. I give Daniel a quick kiss before I leave the bedroom.

"Hey Emily? Come back quick, yea? I'll miss you"

He's such a trusting person and I wish things could be simple between us.

"Ofcource," I tell him as I leave the room.

Daniel POV

The bed feels so empty without Emily. I actually cancelled all my meetings earlier today because I wanted to spend the day with her. Things are finally starting to feel like they used to and I wanted to savor every moment. However, I forgot that Emily always has plans. I'm not complaining though, I love her independence. I feel so bad that she misinterpreted the whole Sara situation. I just felt bad seeing Sara standing outside in the cold during the 4th of July party, so I brought her a sweater and accompanied her for a little. I wish I hadn't done that, because it really hurt Emily. I never want to do that again.

I look over to the bedside table and see a photo of us from our engagement photo shoot. Emily has this huge smile while I'm kissing her on the cheeks. She looks so happy. I wish I could make her that happy everyday of her life.

My thoughts are interrupted by the abrupt sound of my ringtone. I pick up the phone and check to see who is calling, secretly hoping its Emily. But it's not, it's the wedding planner. That's odd.

"Hello Daniel. I'm sorry to call you, but Emily is not answering her phone. I just wanted to remind her about our meeting tonight."

"Wait, aren't you with Emily now?"

"No, our meeting is tonight. Is everything ok?"

"Oh..yea of course. I'll tell her about the meeting. Bye"

Why would Emily lie to me like that? A million things are running through my head; things like betrayal, worry, and suspicion. I can't help but wonder where she went? Is she with Aiden?

The happiness from earlier disappeared immediately and anger takes its place. I dial Emily's number and there's no answer. I repeat this process for what feels like a million times until I finally surrender. There is only one thing that can make me feel better at this point, alcohol. I get out of bed, get dressed, and drive to the Stowaway.

As I walk into the Stowaway, I feel conscious because it is way too early to be drinking. I tell myself that nobody cares, sit confidently at the bar, and order scotch. "Keep them coming", I tell the bartender.

Emily POV

Honestly, when I kiss Aiden I just pretend that he is Daniel. This is the only way that I can stomach the act. In a few more weeks, I won't ever have to kiss him again. Oh boy, am I looking forward to that. He looks at me with adoration and I feel like I'm going to barf.

"Is everything ok Amanda?"

It feels so weird to be called Amanda, although it's my official name. I feel like I haven't been Amanda for ages. I'm Emily now and Aiden is too blind to grasp that.

"Yes, I'm great. Keep an eye on Victoria, do everything she asks. It's good to have an inside man."

"Don't worry. I can't wait for all this to be over and for us to have a fresh start in the Maldives."

It takes all my self control to stop me from rolling my eyes. Aiden is a smart guy and he knows when I fake smile. I think of this morning with Daniel and a genuine smile appears on my face involuntarily.

"Can't wait."

Daniel POV

The whole world is spinning around me.

"Bartender, I need you to give me another scotch. That's an order."

"I'm sorry Mr. Grayson, but you've had enough."

His words anger me. I'm NOT drunk. I am a grown man and I am paying for this scotch.

"Look, I'm not going to ask you again. Give me another scotch."

I look at him sternly, which is a hard task because he seems to be moving everywhere. I don't even know where to look anymore.

"Is there a problem here?"

I hear a voice. Sounds like a girls voice. I look back to see who it is. I'm completely overwhelmed because everything is spinning. God, this girl has many heads.

"Daniel?"

Ok, she knows my name. I focus really hard so I can make out her face…squinting my eyes really hard.

"Sara? Is that you?"

She laughs at my question. I'm rather offended really. It's not a humorous question or a joke.

"Come on Daniel, I'll take you home. And this time let me drive."

I don't want to go with her. I want to drink scotch. The house is so lonely anyway, Emily is probably with Aiden doing god knows what.

"I promise I won't break your spine, come on."

She pulls me up off of my chair. Such a persistent girl, I don't like it one bit.

"Fine, I'll come with you. But only because you're forcing me."


End file.
